10 things I learned at Paintball

Last Saturday me and some friends went out and had a blast with Paintball. I had never played that before so I was pretty anxious to give it my best shot. Long story short, we divided ourselves into two teams, Ze Boys against Ze Girls, we suited up, grabbed our guns and went on rampage. ^.^
It was both fun and rewarding as I've learned some very important lessons.

1. Shooting women will only get them aggravated (well, if you were to try silver, then maybe that would bring them down)
2. Women *can* aim and *will* shoot you. Which brings us to my next point..
3. You *need* appropriate protection
4. A camouflage outfit and mask will greatly impair your ability to run around. This is to further emphasize and support 300's theory according to which men used to fight wars...naked
5. Years of practicing your aim, stealth and moves on Wolfenstein 3D, Half-Life or Counter Strike are worth nothing. When you go in there you're nothing but a confused, helpless noob
6. The "men love to compete" expression is greatly overrated. Just get a woman going and then see if you can think of something that will stop her. She will not hide if fired upon, she will not give up if hit. She will run with that flag like there's no tomorrow, regardless of anything, from safety to rules
7. If you want to beat women you need decoys. It's easy. Get a bunch of shoes. Toss them around. Watch the girls go wild!
8. There is nothing more satisfying than shooting a friend in the face
9. There is never enough ammo
10. A woman zipped up in a paintball outfit, firing at you, is sexy

Yes, we did loose, 4 to 1, but, in our defense, we were outnumbered and taking ourselves too seriously with tactics and such.